daslacWeblog . _* heartlocked

Dark Layout

2005-12-08T22:07:00.000+08:00

A makeover, from the usually light layouts I would use for web designs. I'm sorta busy with life so I did not blog for a very long time. Until I get everything off my mind, I guess I'm somewhat limited with blogging.

Heartlocked with a Key

2005-11-19T01:32:00.000+08:00

When I'm writing this, I'm in a state of doubts and sighing.

"every single day what you say makes no sense to me" - taken from the lyrics of the offspring's can't get my head around you

Its hard to guess what she's thinking of, and I'm the kind who have nearly all possibilities expected of. I know how a lover-boy should be, I know what a girl expects from a guy, I know what words should be said, I know what situations a guy well, I know all these but I just don't know how am I ever gonna spark it off.

I thought I would never fall in love in secondary school, that's a belief I held onto in Primary school. When I got to my secondary school in the first day, my opinion of my female schoolmates were that they were just eye candies. True but there's always one candy that taste the sweetest and that was her, and it felt like deja vu. I suppressed what I felt for her, not having wild thoughts like being close to her or anything, but just cover it all over with my ever-caring friends. I was kinda OK during the 1st year, do things the way I want it since that feeling ain't so strong and I should be able to forget her in months.

Man, I was so wrong. December was the month I started thinking about her, getting jealous of the guys that are around her. I knew my limits but I wanna go the furthest. It's impossible for me to be with her but dreams and hopes seem to oppose that. It's a desire to be with her but reality is cruel. I had to lie to get by every moment of seeing her, cause every little thing she does affects me, no matter what. I felt the distance between us, worlds apart, feelings depart.

I began to have the feeling of knowing her better, every thing she does, I just want to know. I don't care if I'm the last to know, but I want to hear it from her. Every aspect of her, I wanna be the one who knows best. It's the kind of feeling that I want to know about her more than others do, something that prove that I care for her.

Maybe she knows about it, that's why we're further distanced. I can't blame her, cause the fault lies in me - i can't be who she wants me to be, the ideal guy in her life. I'll be me, that's my principle whether she likes it or not but when the change she expects in me is what I felt the same way about too, I would.

Am I thinking too much or what? There's something messing around in my heart but I'm just not ready to tell the world yet...

The First Love Is The Most Unforgettable

2005-11-19T01:03:00.000+08:00

Is first love is the most unforgettable? I can't really answer this directly because of the word "most" used, but it's something that will leave a mark in your life. It really depends how much heart you put into.

It's a pupylove at my age, 14 (I will consider it 13 since it started at that age) and many would not actually consider it as real love, as it's a matter of admiration and "what you see is what you wanna get".

But I don't think this way. It hurts when the love is not returned, and as a old chinese proverb goes "fu4 shui3 nan2 shou1". Things start out as friends, then you would suddenly have this feeling for the one you think you love, which leads to you trying to get around her every moment you can seize but when it's all said and done, you could actually realise the one you think you love could be the friend of your life.

Still the Moments

2005-11-14T13:53:00.000+08:00

Suddenly felt the urge to write about something after looking through photos I have taken. I can't believe I actually took so many photos this year, which generally are the same old people - my classmates.

They bring back certain memories, and of course, funny poses that weren't actually what they wanna do. I found 1 person missing in many of my photographs - myself.

The time I started to take photographs wildly was when I recieved my n6230, but then again, the first photo that made me had the feeling of puking was last year when I am still using my old photo and recieved Carina Seow's photo via MMS from Pei Xuan. It nearly killed me, I swear.

I am still in the midst of looking through but it reminds me of many things, really.

Photos are simply greatm, I would have regretted if I had not taken those photos - I guess.

Music Preference ... Being "In"

2005-11-14T10:33:00.000+08:00

It seem to me that most people I see in Singapore listening to songs or buying albums are based on their popularity, chart hits and stuffs like that. There are exception thoughs, cause music-listener who are always following charts are mostly teenagers.

And for some reason, whenever a song has become fanboys' favorite, I start to distance myself from it.

Don't these people have their own taste of music? I mean, can't they find out what they really like instead of following the charts all the time? There are so many nice songs but just remained undiscovered because they weren't the hits of a artist's album.

Months later, the fanboys' song starts to fade awaty from charts and they will treat it as though it never made it into their lists.

Fun & Sorrow in Hospital

2005-11-12T15:30:00.000+08:00

It was friday, what a black day. Went to NUH in the early morning to do the paperworks and went to my ward. Guess what, it was a children's ward...

I can't believe I actually have to sleep and stay with the little kids for a night, but nevermind, it's meant to be. I unwillingly changed into the hostiptal's clothing and sat on the wheelchair, and got pushed all the way into the surgery ward. I tired to be funny, playing with the wheelchair I'm sitting on by rolling the wheels.

The truth is, I wanna feel how it's like to navigate with the wheelchair.

After some cranking and booming sounds, the nurse asked if I was alright so I just got through with a smile. It was long before it was my turn, going into the room of terror. The jab my left hand and before I can start dreaming, I was knocked out already. It was about 11.30am that time.

I heard my name being called, and I woke up with pain. I saw the clock which was 2.30pm already, and gosh, my mouth were stuffed with cottons and my throat was burning. After and onwards, I can't exactly remember what happened until I was fully awake at 5.30 or so. My mum was by my side all along, from morning until my dad came.

Things that Irritated me the most in the hospital
1. My iPod went out of battery at 11pm+
2. The stupid cotton in my mouth
3. The stitches on my gums
4. The hard pillow
5. It was as if winter hit the hospital, so cold that 2 blankets weren't enough

I Thought The Lift Crashed All The Way Down

2005-11-09T19:45:00.000+08:00

Minutes before I was typing this, I heard a crashing sound outside, somewhere near where the lift was located. God, the first thing I though of was the lift crashing all the way down.

Why? Cause I remember that sound, I kicked the darn lift one time and the mech. parts inside kinda dropped down. How memorable and *scary*.

School Vaction Breaks in Japan

2005-11-09T00:00:00.000+08:00

I recieved an email from my host family in Japanese and had some information regarding the school breaks over there and guess what, I'm jealous.

Schools in Japan have 3 terms and school starts on April 1st.

1st Term: April 1st - Late July (~4 months of school)
Summer Vaction: Early August - Early September (~1 months break)
2nd Term: Early September - Late December (~4 months of school)
Winter Vacation: Late December - Early January (~a few weeks of break)
3rd Term: Early January - Early March (~2 months of school)
Spring Break: March (1 month of break)

Singapore has about 2 months + 2 weeks of school breaks, excluding public holidays and for Japan, 2 months + a few weeks... so it's more or less the same but I still prefer their trimester system.

Reminisces of 2E1

2005-11-02T16:50:00.000+08:00

Well, 2E1 is broken asunder into 3 classes next year, and 1 is leaving us just like last year. Majority are going to be in 3E1, a portion in 3E2 and a few in 3E3.

Last year, Delia left us and this year, it's Ko Hein.

There are many things that are still clear in my memories, and those are the deepest impressions this year.

Pre-2E1 - Who's Our Form Teacher?
This was a big "OMFG" case in December 2004, when we have rumors circulating about who's gonna be our form teacher. It was sad to know that Miss Lim, our secondary 1 teacher is not going to teach us in 2005 as they other classes still have the same teacher.

Information here and there, and I spread the "truth" which was, our form teacher would be Madam Rozita. That, stirred up everybody's mind and chaos struck the 2E1 forum.

Birthday Bashes
I would say, the most impressive "performance" was in March, when Zhi Kai was beaten down and out. The guys just wouldn't let him off, again and again he was tortured. After recess, he was pulled to the ground and got kicked and pounced by Cheng Hao and Ze Yi.

Some other birthday bashes were interesting, but not so impressive as Zhi Kai's.

Bukit Chandu & Back To School
The visit on May 18th wasn't that fun to us, but the freedom we had during that day were awesome. We didn't give a damn whether we were in the school or not, everybody just took out their cameras, mobile phones and discmans around the class. Oh, and that was the day which the camera war hit the climax. I took many photos on that day, and it was the kind of freedom that other days could not bring us.

The 3 Months Faking
3 months faking? It refers to the 3 months drama competition! I really love this, from the script-writing to the finals, there were many unforgettable moments. Finding the actors were a pain in the ass, I shortlisted around 20 classmates but only had around 9 people in the 1st trial. I must admit, I had little patience for mistakes and excuses in the beginning, thus causing some conflicts. It was a difficult situation, getting the people together.

As time passes, we worked as a team but that was not enough, Edward saw no love in Siang Lin during the act. That gave some strange atmosphere when strangers who were uninterested in each other were in love. I can't blame them, cause I can't ask them to date each other for the sake of this act. After many trials, and changes, we finally got in the finals and won 3rd place.

Teachers Day
A screwed-over day, stuffs that were organised by us were demolished thanks to our form teacher. We had food to eat and that, satisfy our minimum needs.

There were many other stuffs that happened but I would consider them too minor to write here. Although the separation of our class might sadden some, I think it's not worth gloutting over because the moments we shared were enough to satisfy us. Say, I would have some new classmates but they shall not replace the classmates who left us in my heart.

* Guys, let's play soccer together again next year!

Sometimes, being alone all along is better than separations.

Which iPod Should I Get?

2005-10-29T21:59:00.000+08:00

I went to Apple Centre at Orchard today and took a look at the iPods that were available. Since I'm getting $300 for the bursary, I might as well spend them on a iPod so that music can't escape my ears next year.

But the problem is, which iPod?

iPod Shuffle
This thing is only 1GB at maximum, and would not be enough for my collection. Besides, the lack of LCD really makes me reconsider.

iPod Mini
It's too small fopr my taste and "roundish", I might as well get Creative Zen. It's sort of a outcast if I bring it on the streets and don't really fit my style.

iPod Nano
It's small, it's cool, it's stylish but the capacity is too low. At a maximum of 4GB, I think I have to use the computer more than often. Creative Zen offers more space than this one, but I am not a fan of Zen series.

iPod Photo/Video
Photo offers 20GB, Video offers 30GB.
Video requires ~$100 more, but I get 10 more GB plus video support.
Video is thinner, but longer than Photo.

That comes to a conclusion, which of those 2 should I get? I will think over the night and go get it tomorrow.

Sorrows of a Holiday - Part Two

2005-10-28T21:51:00.000+08:00

11. Five / Closer To Me
We seem distanced in the same room, and I could not find an excuse to get you closer to me.

constantly girl you're on my mind
and girl I think about you all of the time
and even though words are hard to say
girl I miss you, never thought I'd feel this way

if you keep on taking, my heart you'll be breaking so why do you do this to me?
you know how I'm feeling it's you I believe in baby can't you see that i need you?

12. Destiny's Child / Emotion
Emotions are those that get me in the mood to write sad poems, dedicated to you. You played my emotions well, but I won't surrender until they go right.

you never see me fall apart
in the words of a broken heart
it's just emotion taking me over

13. 'N Sync / I Drive Myself Crazy
People say I'm crazy, yes, I'm crazy over you.

why didn’t i know
(how much i loved you baby)
why couldn’t show it
(if I had only told you)
when I had the chance
oh i had the chance

14. Koda Kumi / 1000 Words
I have so much to say to you, but would you listen to me? I never knew where to start, but I know I have more than 1000 words to tell my love for you.

those thousand words
have never been spoken
so far away
i'm sending them to you wherever you are

15. Delta Goodrem / Lost Without You
I just want you here, or else I am lost in time, lost in love.

if we ever say we'd never be together
in the end you wave goodbye
dunno what I'd do
i'm lost without you

16. Ronan Keating / If Tomorrow Never Comes
Maybe you still don't realise that I love you, and I am not sure how much love I can give in this one-way street.

will she know how much i loved her
did I try in every way
to show her every day
that she's my only one

17. Ricky Martin / Nobody Wants To Be Lonely
I am not alone, but I am lonely. Are you?

nobody wants to be lonely so why
why don’t you let me love you

don’t walk away, don’t walk away
don’t walk away, don’t walk away

18. Aerosmith / I Don't Want To Miss A Thing
I can't live one day without knowing where were you when you were not here, or be ignorant of whatever that was happening to you.

well, every moment spent with you is a moment i treasure

i don't wanna fall asleep
'cause i'd miss you, baby
and i don't wanna miss a thing
'cause even when i dream of you
the sweetest dream would never do
i'd still miss you, baby

19. Celine Dion / To Love You More
Even without your love, I am still loving more and more each day. Been trying to forget about you but they are just efforts gone to waste.

don't go you know you will break my heart

i'll be waiting for you
here inside my heart
i'm the one who wants to love you more
you will see i can give you
everything you need

20. Phil Collins / Against All Odds
I won't give you a chance to come back, we will be in love once and make it last forever.
Forever, or until you think its all over.

how can you just walk away from me
when all i can do is watch you leave

so take a look at me now, well there’s just an empty space
and there’s nothing left here to remind me, just the memory of your face

This marks the 20 songs, with the remaining 10 songs in Part III.

Sorrows of a Holiday - Part One

2005-10-28T14:38:00.000+08:00

01. Ayumi Hamasaki / Seasons
The start of a holiday, the end of being closer to her. How much time would past before the encounter again, and the endless days would make me feel that something is missing.

kotoshi mo hitotsu kisetsu ga megutte (this year, another season has passed)
omoide wa mata tooku natta (memories have become faded)

02. BBMak / Ghost of You & Me
A love is given, and never return. I kept wondering what makes me fall for a girl like you, perhaps its of who you're, not what you have in you.

i didn't mean to fall in with you
and baby there's a word for what you put me though
it isn't love it's robbery

03. Gareth Gates / Listen To My Heart
A little faith from you means a much more hope for me, and one step goes a long long way.
But will I take the first step?

people say that love can't be that strong
you might just believe it
i can show you, we can prove them wrong

04. Santana / Why Don't You & I (Featuring Chad Kroeger)
I might be eloquent, but whenever I see you, the words are lost and are always wrong.

every time i try to talk to you
get tongue-tied
turns out, everything i say to you
comes out wrong and never comes out right

05. Atomic Kitten / If You Come To Me
When I don't see you when I'm there, the worrying and disappointment stirred my feelings up.

everyday you're away
and I feel a little low
i would cry for you, die for you

you gotta slow down before you know
you gonna brake down and turn around
before you know, you go and break my heart
when will you learn to be
a little helpful when you think of me
a little careful when you're close to me
coz baby i loved you from the start

06. Hanson / I Will Come To You
If you just call me, I will come and be the one beside you.

when the night is dark and stormy
you won't have to reach out for me
i will come to you

07. Bon Jovi / I'll Be There For You
I didn't meant to miss all these moments, but I just can't be there for you because I didn't knew what you were thinking all along.

i wasn't there when you were happy
i wasn't there when you were down
i didn't mean to miss your birthday, baby
i wish I'd seen you blow those candles out

08. Enrique Iglesias / To Love A Woman (Featuring Lionel Richie)
You might just be a little girl but in my heart, you're the woman that a man like me would love you now and forever.

i don't know what it is but she drives me crazy
i don't know what she does but she drives me wild

09. Britney Spears / Born To Make You Happy
I've made you cry, just for a chance to make you happy.

just call out my name (just call out my name)
i will be there (and I will be there)
just to show you how much I care

10. Westlife/ Lost In You
I am in a daze when you're around, and makes me float in the air... even though it means to see only your back every now and then.

i've played every field i suppose
but there's something about you
when you're around
baby i have found
i get lost in you

To be continued in part 2 and 3...

Photoshop, Back To Life

2005-10-24T13:56:00.000+08:00

So many projects to handle, cause I recently fetched some tasks for me to do.

First, is Aykrois' stuffs which I worked on for a long time already and the latest one is a little difficult due to lack of good quality images I am seeking for.

Second, is iQuest Studios porject. I have already settled the design so no problems there. I was suprised by the result, though.

Third, is a blog design I promised Xinz, which I have finished the designing part already. Looks pretty nice, the style I never did before as I am not a girl, so I'll never do those style for myself.

I will get the blog coding done by today, I think.

My Future - Love, Romance, Wife!

2005-10-22T23:58:00.000+08:00

Well, I've been on this topic with E.T for sometime and had funny ideas. A very good wife will be somewhat a worksmart, home-blur type of woman, and very quiet. Then if go home late, she won't dare to question and if she does... "What You Say?!?", there she goes quiet again.

That's not the type of wife I want, though there's a huge advantage.

3 Wives are ideal, one for loving, one for fillin' up my stomach and one for lusting. Of course, if there's a woman with these 3 attributes combined, it's even better but you can't have the best of both worlds, and here we are talking about 3!

Nah, I could never bear to do that.

I want my future-to-be wife to be the hottest around, so that I am proud.

But after some consideration, I think that wouldn't be very nice cause I am not the only guy with eyes on earth. I will get jealous, and suspicious!

Just a beautiful face with some characters I love (some friends of mine should know which type of characteristics)

I think it's to early to make any decisions so I think I will walk a little further before thinking more.
Actually I have already thought more but I am not gonna write first, there's always busybody friends.

Cash Converter Crazy

2005-10-22T23:37:00.000+08:00

Me & Edward are a little crazy over Cash Converters nowdays, because there might be discs we really want for a really low price there. Jurong east branch is a little too bored for us, so we went all the way to Toa Payoh.

I picked myself 3 discs and they are:
Celine Dion - All The Way ... A Decade Of Song
A1 - Here We Come
Daniel Bedingfield - Gotta Get Thru This

I saw one guy holding Lilo and Stitch soundtrack and god, I want that!

A Week More

2005-10-22T13:04:00.000+08:00

Monday
This might be a holiday but I think I'll have to get to Andy's house to fix his computer if he has not fixed it yet. When I think about holidays, I think I'd really hate them because I'll be missing her.

No wait, maybe it's a chance to forget if I look at the positive side.

Tuesday
That Tuesday is going to be a tiring one, but I might increase my endurance level. A trip to esplanade for a mathematics program, and guess what, I don't think I can work well with my little team except for Ed. My ears would burst by the end of the day, I think, I swear.

Wednesday ... Thursday
I bet its gonna be cards cards cards, so boring.

Friday
Last day of school, and will finally meet my dear report book again. I am so anxious in knowing what results I would get for this year, but i guess it's going to be pretty average.

And So The Result Goes

2005-10-18T19:42:00.000+08:00

Wasn't really a awesome or expected result, but I think I'll get over it as time flies.

English // 65
I am lucky with this one, could have gotten higher if only my grammer was better.

Chinese // 70
The format changed, but to my advantage. I lost marks in composition SA2 because I didn't get to finish it.

Mathematics // 79
Nothing to say about this one, I just got one whole bunch of careless mistakes.

Science // 61
The subject that I scored lowest, but I am satisfied as I've put in all I could for science already (SA2).

Geography // 72
Easy, it's general knowledge.

History // 61
I love this subject but can't seem to score well.

Literature // 69
I got pulled down by SA2, due to my strange answers. Other factors pulled me up a lot.

Design & Technology // 75
Every guy has got to know this one, or else they would have to work in the kitchen.

Home Economics // 73
I'm lucky I don't have to be a houseman in the future, because all the cooking were generally done by Darren.

Art // 74
I gotta love this one, the last few assignments pulled up up a lot. Plus, I'm one lucky bastard as I scored A1 for SA2 even though I did not finish.

Average // 69.9

It's pretty much a hard choice to make, when I have to fill up the subject options form tonight.

I'm a lost cause... But I'll make it on my own

Inner Beauty or Appearance?

2005-10-15T03:22:00.000+08:00

One with a kind heart, a good nature and a helpful soul should be more importantly considered than pretty girls who flaunt their appearance all over the shopping centre.

Blah, I have been told that many times by different people, mostly senior citizens. Guess what, our eyes just turn the attention to those that really mattered - pleasing our eyes. I am one of them, but the debate of whether looks or inner beauty should be considered when choosing your boyfriend/girlfriend, it's a dilemma.

Of course, having the best of both worlds are what people expect but remember, unless you're a really lucky bastard, this chance is 0.0001%.
* In my opinion, of course. *

There are many guys of around my age, which means teenage, would most likely take a well-mannered girl as their girlfriend. They want someone who would understand them, care for them, do homework for them, accompany them, love them - ... Bullshit, any girls of these attributes would not even consider having a boyfriend at this age.

Back to the topic, now guys want a lifetime partner with kind heart etc. (I don't wanna repeat again, just look at the first line) but, seriously, would they marry somebody who has a disfigured, strangely shaped, ugly (I don't much like to use this word in blogging...) face? Alright, there are special cases where true love is in play, but now, we're talking about the general.

In our teenage society, it's rarely love.
It's LUST.

Ideal Appearance that teenager (guys) would normally prefer are:
1. A face that would never get bored of looking at
2. A body that would keep them staring at
Lets go a little more detailed...
2a. Ideal measurements for chest, abdomen, waist
2b. Nice legs
3. Skin

But, they would die off sooner or later when the girl eats too much, eh? *Laughs*
That's what I mean by LUST.

So would a Beautiful + Sexy(with a bitchy attitude and ill-natured) or Undesirable countenance + Body(With kind heart, and a good nature) would be preferred? In any cases, the fault of misjudgements lies in our prejudiced society.

*Yawn, I need to sleep already... it's so late*

T3 - Ryan Yeo

2005-10-14T12:46:00.000+08:00

T3 ... Time To Trash

My First Impression
He's a pure nerd, wearing spectacles and bringing along the resemblance of rabbits aspect of his countenance everyway he walks to. The kind of human who would just sit by quietly and observe others with a twisted brain.

Leech
"死抱着不放", that would be a nice chinese quote to describe him as a leech, who loves to attach himself to others. Imitating others leads to a irritating idiot-to-be himself.

Wannabe
A total failure, he failed badly trying to not-be-himself. Oh well, he can't perfect himself and still tries to follow others who are far beyong him, his own delusions.

Bitch Laughter
An open cavern with acids spilling out profusely, that's his mouth with or without smiling. No, wait, he never smiles - only laughs. Then, an old man with a terrible cough trapped inside the cavern laughing, that's what his laugh is like.

And the frequency of coughing of that old man, is unexpected yet frequent, thus causing the land around it to shake as if a earthquake is coming.

Darn Ass
I wonder when our school shorts ever became a material alike to spandex *yukes*. It's freakin' short and is barely enough to cover his ass.
The most disgusting part is, it shakes like a flirt.

* Vomits *

Phew, I really hate him.

Poem (Possibly Lyric?) - That Smile

2005-10-11T18:05:00.000+08:00

That smile, you gave me the last time;
Keeping in my heart, was it a crime?
It has been so long;
And that smile, is now given to someone else.

Even though, you might not have loved me at all;
But I’ll never forget that one smile you offered.
Even so, you might see me no more;
Does it matters, you still won’t love me more.

I caught those eyes looking back at me;
And your smile, offered straight to me.
I don’t know, what was that all for?
All I know, is that you have not loved me at all.

I had a melody in my head when writing this one, maybe I can turn it into a lyric.
But songwriters have got more than these *laughs*
It's difficult to write a song on the spot when you have the tune in your head already, or was it because my writing speed ain't fast enough?

Chinese Poem - 就是怕

2005-10-11T15:56:00.000+08:00

不管去哪
我真怕又会遇见你
一个绝决
我真怕我会舍不得
有了决定
我真怕你离我而去
无论如何
我真怕你不会选我
没有原因
就是怕自己爱上你

Well, simple poem there I have written but it means quite a lot to me.

Finally a test that can get me worked up!

2005-10-08T13:48:00.000+08:00

Papers are flying in my room as I'm typing this, thanks to the chaos of searching notes yesterday. 15 chapters of science and I've only cleared 2, 13 more to go. At least 1 hour of revision for each chapter or else, it would be useless revising anyway.

Called up Andy in the afternoon, cleared most of my doubts and now, I am going to have a shit time revising Biology. Physics would be easy this time, plain calculations and for Chemistry, well, stupid formulas.

Gonna have a bathe and clear physics out, then move on to Biology and finally, Chemistry. Monday is the nightmare already...

Screwed Up - English Paper 2

2005-10-06T19:47:00.000+08:00

Great, now I realise the importance of reading more books.

The passage came out as a visit to Hot Coffee (No, no, not the GTA:SA Mod) in search for a nice brew of coffee, and during the visit to the blueberry farm part, Ahab, Moby Dick came out. What the hell are those?

I did a couple of lookups and then realise, they were taken from the novel Moby Dick by Herman Melville. Wait, The name Herman came out in the passage too, ah? Darn, I am screwed, so confused.

I didn't expect whales be used as reference in search for coffee, and I was so fustrated when I could not answer that one question.

October Wallpaper - I'll be There For You

2005-10-02T19:03:00.000+08:00

Well, I heard this song a few days ago and fell deeply in love with it, even though it's a song a decade ago.

* You see, sometimes new is not as good as old *

http://img5.imageshack.us/my.php?image=illbethereforyou3tt.jpg

daslacWeblog Rewritten Number 3

2005-10-02T12:14:00.000+08:00

Hmmm, a slight change in the blog design/layout, whatever you call it.
Threw in some essence of pink into this blog too, cause pink + blue is so lovely.

I've also added a "photos" link, which leads to a photo album of mine on Flickr.

Chingay Parade '06?

2005-09-30T17:47:00.000+08:00

Actually, I have no idea what that Chingay Parade is about except for that it is a... parade.

Here comes the worst part, students above 160cm would be selected but only 200 pupils or so from Secondary 2/3. Darn, I'm one of them.

"TJCCC is working very closely with us so they are giving us more students to participate."

... More? Even if the school like it, they have to ask the students first and now, they are making it compulsary. Participate is when the other parties are willing to, yet now our controveries are ignored.

What's the big deal then? We have to perform lion-dance and the training would spoil the whole holiday.

But, I think I've a way to get out of this shit. Therefore, I think fate is fair.

Special Poem ... Some Things Are One & Only

2005-09-18T14:51:00.000+08:00

There are words only I know,
But unheard ever since you said no.
Who will tell you them after I go?
Even then, even so.

There are voices only I hear,
But gone ever since you're no longer here.
They keep telling me that I'm still insincere
Maybe, my dear.

There are moments only I remember,
But who will I share them with this september?
The feeling I can never forget is your touch so tender,
And, so gentle.

There are things only I do,
But what matters to you when I'm treated like a fool?
These has been brought upon myself for where I've been to,
So what, you too?

There are choices only I make,
But are they worth for the tears I cried in the crystal lake?
The paths I've chosen might be a regret too late,
But, this is fate.

There are girls only I love,
But can I be sure I'm the only chaser on earth?
Now there is only one girl that has my heart reserved,
Wishful thinking.

I just keep on writing this one, until I run out of emotions to continue anymore. I can't help but to laugh at my own stupidity.

Present in the presence of time cruelty

2005-09-16T15:00:00.000+08:00

If my present can't reach you in time,
Don't look at me as if I've commited a crime.
If only you would just question me once,
I am able to hand it to you with just one glance.

Fate has made a place,
Destiny has set the time,
But for when and where we will meet again,
I swear they wouldn't be that kind.

Maybe another time, another day,
Although I would really want to stay.
But if you won't bother to take a look,
I think it would be better if I put in an envelope.

Oh well, I guess it just won't get to her in time, and the day after time, comes the moment of woos and boos.

Hero No More

2005-09-15T19:17:00.000+08:00

Listen up people,
I will not be her hero,
Knowing her memory remembers me as a zero.

If I try to save her
This girl would just hide away,
And waiting for another hero to come after me.

I may be disturbed,
From the ways you have treat me,
But I'll never concede to the way you have judged me.

This isn't fair,
I can't help it but be there,
Though my intuition tells me this would get nowhere.

It would just deliver another heartache, ... if I'd try to save her.

Eh... Big ferrywheel?

2005-09-14T16:16:00.000+08:00

Watched the news yesterday and they talked about building a really huge ferrywheel in Singapore, and I think it's 45 stories tall. It was meant to see the scenery (?) and countries around like Indonesia and Malaysia.

Seriously, is it meant to be a tourist attraction? I didn't really pay attention to what the news reporter to saying, so I'm 50% sure of what I know.

Is it going to be stable, or will it just fall anytime? There are no guarantees though, we all know. If it's a tourist site, the entrance fee will skyrocket. The fear of local citizens is inevitable, but that is how they make money from aliens.

Public Fear = Economic Boost

Stages of my love

2005-09-14T15:28:00.000+08:00

A stranger he once was,
Not daring to take the initiative to speak and greet,
But only to wait patiently for a chance to begin a conversation.

And then he became lucky,
The girl spoke and a question from her had thousands of answers,
Even though the boy has an unclear mind to realise what he is telling her.

He moved on to a secret admirer,
Staying in the dark and finding oppunuties to get near the girl,
But does he know exactly if that girl likes him?

Slowly he changed into a rejecter,
Someone who only wants that girl and avoiding temptations all time,
Only to find himself too deep in a foolish love.

Soon he ditched the rejecter and found himself with many doubts,
Questions and uncertainty of what the girl thinks of him or if his feelings are true,
And eventually got himself in dilemmas that doesn't seperates themselve from him.

Jealousy came over him as time passes,
Resenting all that she sees in her eyes and the lies she is hearing from friends,
Leading to a love-hate emotion that would soon take over him.

The boy then desires amnesia,
To forget this unappreciated love and all the pain that hopes have put him through,
But the unrealiable memories fooled him once again.

Now he became a man of open secrets,
Telling what he feels and how these rumours can finally fade with time,
Even though he is uncertain of how honesty tell his sincerity towards that girl.

It's a non-drafted one, a free verse written last night.

Familiarity Breeds Contempt

2005-09-12T19:13:00.000+08:00

... close acquaintance would cause lack of respect

Agree? Yep, I do.

This topic sparkled when I'm chatting with J.R on MSN, and when I think back about the past few years, yes, it do happened.

When you're talking to someone who you just know or strangers, you tend to be more polite and respectful, being careful with your words.

Like our trip to Japan, we put on our best behavior and were naturally polite upon reaching there! Maybe it's because we don't know them well and it's better to be careful with our words.

But between friends, I think serious lack of respect is going on.

"Why bother to "draft" what you want to say? I can just speak my mind and I don't think he/she would blame me for being straightforward!"

Some people are sensitive, and some just don't have any idea what words are coming out of their mouth next. It might hurt, but you won't realise it until you're told.

Even for close friends, I think nobody should cross the line or else someone will end up being hurt.

I'm basing this on own experience and thoughts, so others might have different views.

Recollections ... Day 1 @ Japan // From homestay to sleepless night

2005-09-11T02:10:00.000+08:00

Recollections @ 5 September 2005

It was a short ride on the car, and we quickly reached her house. There were many kids in the house, and I thought all were her children! The kids were really excited in there, jumping and hoping, screaming and shouting all around.

Yusuke & Tomo (her kids) brought me a 1litre mineral water bottle, challenging me to drink it up. *Laughs* Their mum told me not to drink... it's meant to be a joke. I gave them the mooncakes and the prawn rolls, and they kinda like it.

There were problems communicating so I immediately thought of Babelfish, a online langauge translator. That became our communication tool then. It wasn't long when dinner was ready!

... Dinner! Dinner! Dinner!

Grandpa arrived and so were her sisters. There were sashimi, a huge bucket of rice and seaweeds. Me & Haziq were quickly taught how to eat them, wrapping up the rice and sashimi with theseaweed and eat it up!I also tasted fermented soybeams, that was my first time eating it. Didn't suit me but I manage to eat a few spoons.

Everybody's having their dinner!

I was the last to finish and later, grandpa returned to his house which is opposite of our house! My foster-mum, her 2 sisters and me listened to Ayumi's songs for the night. I didn't know the whole family were Ayumi fans... so happy!

Later the 2 sisters returned with their kids and we had to sleep. It was 9PM in Japan, and lights in the neighbourhood were nearly all off. Me & Haziq went upstairs and are going to sleep in a large room with 3 queen sized beds.

We saw a room with many toys, and its really MANY! It's Yusuke & Tomo's room, really messy, filled with cards, toys and many many many things.

... Bed Time

It's time to sleep and we each took a bed. Me on the right, Haziq in the center and Tomo by the left. Wasn't a good sleep, Haziq kept tossing and turning through the night, and towards me. Woke 2 times, 1st at 2AM as he was kicking me already. 2nd time was at 5AM, I was down on the floor. I pushed him back and slept for 1.5hours, waking up at 6.30AM.

Recollections ... Day 1 @ Japan // From arrival to school

2005-09-10T21:38:00.000+08:00

Recollections @ 5 September 2005

The airport looks awesome, personally feel that it looks better than Singapore's. I still can't believe I'm finally in Japan... *laughs*.

... Along the way

We proceed with a bus ride, long one. I took videos along the way, as it is quite impossible to take photos since the motion is far too fast. The girls behind fell asleep, were they really that tired? Along the way, I noticed some things about Japan's environment.

- Glasses as fences for highways, really amazing.
- Most cars were of the same brand, and ain't small!
- Very little cars along the way.
- Buildings were rarely 4 stories or above.
- Cultivation beside factories...? Strange!
- The way they clear forests on a hill/mountain, having a big car (the one with a elephant nose-like scoop) at the peak scooping the trees and making them fall!
- Very beautiful mists surrounding the mountains far far away.

... To the school

We reached the school after a long ride, and nearly everyone was panicking as some schools lost their CDs or didn't bring them. We had to perform... and without discs, it's a problem.

We just came up with some temporary solutions and then jumped off the bus, only to be welcomed with warmth despite the cold weather. Upon entering, we had to take off our shoes and wear their slippers! It's a struggle for us guys, as the slippers were so small for us.

We went to the 2nd floor and saw the kids in class... they were so cute!

They seem so curious... who are these big sisters and brothers...?

I had a bad stomachache and others proceed to the hall first. The toilet was small, really! I dash my way to the hall and grab a seat, and the performance began. We danced "Reach out for the sky" and followed by Lakeside Primary's skipping performance, finally a indian boy danced his. We listened to a few long speeches and after that, we found our little partners! He is so cute... like me :P.

The kids were preparing lunch for everyone in their own class, and their dressing were kind of... exaggerating!
Our lunch was kind of cruel, at least to me. Most were vegetables which I don't touch, like pickles and such. I finished the bowl of rice and a little of curry. I saw 2 boys finishing a bottle of milk in 3 glups, and I'm out to challenge them. I opened my cap and finished it in 1 glup! I went on taking Magala's and Nicole's milk bottle and finished them too! The kids were impressed and applaused!

Don't they look cute...? They look like little surgeons!

After finishing lunch, I didn;t know what to do with the leftovers. I saw some kids pouring them back into the pot and gosh, I can't believe it! I watched what the kids did and followed... weird though.

My "sweet" lunch.

We then walked around as we didn't know what to do next, and the girls were busying taking photos of the kids.

Yeah, girls will always be girls.

And then we realise we had to proceed to the hall for painting the sculptures. We settled down and painted for 2 hours. Us aliens painted their cat, while they painted our lion. I messed up mine halfway, thanks to my poor painting skills.

We took photos and waited around for our host family to come. I waited... and waited, and they arrived. Me and haziq were sort of strangers-acting, as we didn't know what to do. We sat on her car and boom, back to her house!

Mini-Generation Gap?

2005-09-10T14:44:00.000+08:00

My sister's celebrating her birthday today at Prince Albert Road, the big mcdonald in there. All her friends were 6 years old... I don't find any fun in there. I can't possibly doing the kiddy exercises in there or hop all around, saying CHEESEBURGER when facing the camera.

* Laughs *

I saw Charlene, Choon Yen and gang doing their homework there.
* So hardworking... unlike me *
It's sort of suprising when you leave them yesterday and saw them again after a sleep.

Impression of People

2005-09-09T23:05:00.000+08:00

Back from Japan, such a wonderful journey there.

At Singapore airport, I finally realise the difference between Singaporeans and Japanese, is that Singaporeans are extremely rude.

There was a person who was keeping the trollies, and he spoke angrily just because our luggages were blocking his way. It's a disgrace, truly.

Something else was that... the people with me for the trip, my senses tell me they are better than any of those "friends" I have known before.

Dancing in the morning

2005-09-03T15:59:00.000+08:00

Music makes you lose control...

Groovin' to that song with my 5 friend in school, choreographing dance steps for our *might happen* performance in Japan. Great coordination for a very short pratice but it really tired me out.

I got myself a Blazier, a tie, and a new pair of pants (school one). It fits me perfectly, size 32... gosh, I never realise I was that fat! My dad also changed currency for me, 30,000 yen.

* 10,000 yen = SGD153 *

Questioning

2005-09-02T16:28:00.000+08:00

Forced to fake,
That brave front I have to put on everyday.
Now I'm going to give it all away,
So that I can be myself again.

Yet.

Forgetting the feeling I have for you is difficult,
Is because I am weak?
Or because you're just so irresistible?
I would die to know.

But.

Is this feeling really love,
Or is it me who just want somebody to love?
So much of mixed emotions,
How can I ever ditch them away?

MediaDrive Out of Space

2005-09-01T11:41:00.000+08:00

My media drive (D:/) cannot take it anymore, that the music files in there has taken up 25.2GB, suming up to 5043 music files.

Gonna burn the game musics into discs, since I don't listen to them as frequent as before. They total up to 2.2GB, 644 files.

And therefore, August ends

2005-08-31T23:42:00.000+08:00

And it has been 606 days... so long already.
Clinging onto a string on the verge of torning apart.

Sad to say but I'm still mesmerised, the feeling is stronger and stronger, overtaking my abilities. Would it be a single stab to my heart or will it be a double stab? I wonder...

August is not much of a great month for my whatever relationships for me, but average for academic and those pesky little stuffs. Pure luck on my side this time, yet I missed so many chances, thanks to my stubbornness.

Alot of stuffs are expected in September, leading with my trip to Japan and chained with my sister's birthday celebration on the next day of my return to S'pore. And, the dilemma in my heart will finally resolved.

Song of the Month: A1 - One Last Song

2nd Chinese Poem... For Her

2005-08-31T20:36:00.000+08:00

My 2nd chinese poem, telling my daily feelings.

Feelings for you... eyes on me

2005-08-29T19:25:00.000+08:00

How I loved your peaceful eyes on me
did you ever know
That I had mine on you

Darling, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if your're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
How can I let you know
I'm more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you're not dreaming

Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer...

Faye Wong - Eyes On Me

And now, I'm back to one again.
Those eyes might no longer be there... I think but not hope to.

Triple Crash

2005-08-25T22:20:00.000+08:00

Dilemma... 3 events (considered important) crashed on Saturday, which should I go?

I am stuck between Taekwondo tournament, trip to Japan briefing, and 21st National Software competition. It's sad, really, that I would wanna go every single one of them.

Day isn't as good, boring classes, boring chats. I scored badly for Part 1 of my history paper. I read as teacher marked our class papers. Many of my classmates got 23/30, but highest was 24 (from what I saw).

I'm really attracted to Google Desktop Search 2, it makes my screen looks perfect!

Terrible test question

2005-08-23T22:29:00.000+08:00

The last chinese test question seriously sucks(I rarely use this word when blogging), it actually ask us to analyse a chinese song that is terribly chosen. I wondered why that songs has to be chosen, it does not expresses well and worst of all, there isn't much meaning to it. In case you're wondering what song it was, it's "Mu Nai Yi"(Mummy [The wrapped up dudes[) by Lin Jun Jie.

I pulled through it, didn't flunk my test (I suppose).

D&T test was far easier, simple.

Took a long walk to TJCCC, for a briefing session for the trip to Japan. Saw my classmate dancing away with her friends up there, so suprised. Some of their dances moves were really hilarious, reminds of kangaroo boxng in cartoon shows.

The briefing goes on and on, boring.

Went home and continued with a new blog design, looks pretty niffty now. I think I'll get it ready by the end of this week.

Random Emotions Rant

2005-08-22T21:34:00.000+08:00

Contemned love, a new word I've found to describe my feelings... meaning, unappreciated love.

You don't know what the other party wants, nor feel and just tries to give all that you have, and when effort is unrecognized, fallen apart.

If love is free, does it mean to let go or continue loving?

Stuck - Dilemma

Strange science revision method

2005-08-21T22:23:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is science test, and I haven't revise it until evening.

I read up my science notebook, and later on MSN, i gave key points from what I remembered to 2 of my friends.

I somehow remembered all that I've read when giving the points, and I guess thats a way to help me revise. I love it.

Mid-August Wallpaper

2005-08-20T15:07:00.000+08:00

I always make my own wallpapers, and all of them, tell me emotions for a period of time. I've just made one, 2 days ago but finished it off today as I find it imperfect in my eyes this morning.

Current Wallpaper

Comments will be appreciated... truely.

Don't wanna show so much concern for you anymore, you don't seem to care... - August 20, 2005

Shut Up... Finally

2005-08-19T19:20:00.000+08:00

It's the mathematics test today, and again, I skipped revision.

It was stupid, every single thing I need isn't by my side, from ruler to pencil leads and more, but I'm not going to list a long one. I managed to borrow a ruler before the test.

Personally, I think students should bring 2 sets of stationaires, for people so forgetful like me!

Many of my classmates didn't finish the paper, so unfair.

Our mathematics lesson was ... silence. Teacher got fed-up and 15 minutes (or so) of no-lesson.

Our english lesson was not much of difference, as our english teacher, too, got fed-up with 1 or 2 of my classmates and after a little lecturing, our class was officially SHUT UP.

45 minutes more from now, I am setting off for taekwondo class.
Gosh, it's gonna be tough when there's sparring.

To my advantage, I'm in a bad mood and I'm gonna leash it all out later! *Smirks*

TKK/Citigroup Project - The Interview

2005-08-18T22:48:00.000+08:00

The people from Citigroup came down this afternoon, to interview and check how our project is going on. Fong Yong was unable to attend as he has his Robotics training thing, so it's up to me and Darren.

The afternoon is young, and they were taking their own sweet time up. They are nice people, very polite (like me?). I blabber non-stop, explaining this and that. I even have my own video (Ask darren, it's disgusting)!

It all went smooth and we're now waiting for 23 September, as we have to set up a booth on that day.

Luck lurking or coming?

2005-08-17T21:02:00.000+08:00

Yeah, was selected as one of the 5 from my school for a exchange program over at Japan, in September holiday! It's cool, my first trip-to-be to Japan, a place I longed to go.

Today's quite plain, except for the fact that my afternoon was quite meaningless. Stay in school for 2 hours plus just to rehearse our presentation on our innovation tomorrow, how boring.

Collected many ores in MapleSEA today, hooray!

Luck always come with a price

2005-08-15T16:33:00.000+08:00

Finally (yes, finally), I passed my 2.4KM run with 13:35min timing, so lucky. I nearly fainted when I took a trip to the toilet.

After ecess, I am still an active monkey. It was not long when I finally fell, during mathematics period. Maybe it's due to those numbers and signs, they make me sick.

Enjoyable day, thanks to the absence of my form teacher. 4 lessons being free, unrestricted. I also got my $130 prize money today, for the drama competition.

A little later, I'm called out again but this time, I am short-listed by the school, for a trip to Japan. If my luck goes on well, I might actually pay a visit there!

Finally compatible with IE6

2005-08-13T14:13:00.000+08:00

Yesterday when I visit my own blog with I.E.6, I found out that it looks totally different from what I see in Firefox!

I fixed it up this morning, but still can't figure out what went wrong with the CSS, thus I used both CSS and tables this time.

Documents Life

2005-08-12T18:23:00.000+08:00

I decided to sort out my documents, finally. I start off by cleaning up my images folder, where there are a few hundred photos, countless PSDs and some trash I found on the net.

I never realise I've got so many of her photos!
I looked through every single photo in my documents and great, so many of her photos. I don't have the exact number but, it's huge, really.

... And I never knew why I have so many PSDs
The PSDs I have are countless, truely, and the total filesize is enormous. I downloaded Freshview to make my job of looking through PSD files easier, and used A.F.5 Rename Your Files 1.1 to rename all my images.

People like me who have many stuffs should use those 2 tools.

Moving Motions

2005-08-11T17:25:00.000+08:00

Real tired out from school, not caused by teachers' nags but some strange factors. Started the morning with some kicks to by butt, and throwed some moves back at that cockroch, Cazua. After recess, the next war began, against a Gorilla. Crushed to the wall, but fought back eventually.

Fina stage, versus dog. Not your average house dog, however. She delivered some impact with her paws and gosh, it feels like a massage (I don't enjoy her massage!).

My joints are gonna split sooner or later in the dance room, should have done some more warm-up earlier!

New look... a dark one

2005-08-10T14:18:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was National day, and I didn't update my blog yesterday as I was busy making a new layout. And yes, you're looking at the new one now.

It's dark, it's mysterious, different from those light-hearted ones I would normally design. I use one of my favorite Final Fantasy characters, Rinoa from FF8.

I didn't made the wrong choice... i chose mediamonkey!

2005-08-08T22:31:00.000+08:00

Months ago I switched to mediamoneky from Winamp, because my songs collection grew bigger and Winamp cannot take it anymore. Mediamoneky was short of MSNM7 Now Playing function and a limited amount of plugins but today, I find myself wrong.

I updated my mediamonkey, got the MSNM7 Now Playing feature working and magic nodes, a perfect script needed for convinience.

Mediamonkey is going to be with me for a long long time.

Songs that tell my stories

2005-08-08T20:28:00.000+08:00

Every song i listen to seem to tell my feelings, a story. Here's a list of songs, which tells a story of mine in this obsessed puppy love.

Britney Spears / Can't Make You Love Me
Should I change to compromise her? It makes no sense if she doesn't tell me what she finds missing in me… it's unfair. Even if I can't make her love me, she can't stop me from loving her.

But I can't make you love me,
Is it my life or the things I do?
Can't make you, make you love me baby,
It's my life, what can I do?

M2M / Don't Mess With My Love
When you love somebody too much, your sensitivity will become stronger and stronger. Whoever that get closed to that special one, you always have suspicious eyes.

I thought you were a friend of mine but I was wrong,
You tried to fit into the arms where I belong.
You moved right in behind my back,
Everyone knows friends don't do that.

McFly / She Left Me
Every time when she's out of my sight, this song comes to my mind. This songs seem to tell me what she wants to tell me, whenever she is leaving.

Since she left me,
She told me,
Don't worry,
You'll be ok you don't need me,
Believe me you'll be fine.
Then I knew what she meant,
And it's not what she said,
Now I can't believe that she's gone.

Brian McFadden / Almost Here
Whenever a chance to communicate with her is lost, I had to listen to this song. It tells my regrets and how far behind I'd left her.

Bruise and battered by your words,
Dazed and shattered, now it hurts.

Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you.

Michael Buble & Nelly Furtado / Quando, Quando, Quando
Impatience struck me when I listen to this song, and desire simply grows stronger.

Tell me when will you be mine?
Tell me quando quando quando.
We can share a love devine,
Please don't make me wait again.

Mario / Here I Go Again
The lyrics of this whole song simply tells all my feelings, when I am in love with her.
If she knows how I feel towards her, why is she acting like this?

You said you hated me,
Treated me ungratefully,
You didn't appreciate me,
You said you never loved me.
People told me to leave you alone,
Crazy messages on my phone,
O tell me where I went wrong,
To make these feelings so strong,
Baby here I go again.

Backstreet Boys / Just Want You To Know
My feelings are still there but I struggling to let her go, for the hurt and happiness she have caused in me all these time. It's a dilemma, for how I should come clean with her.

I just want you to know,
That I've been fighting to let you go.
Some days I make it through,
And then there's nights that never end.
I wish that I could believe,
That there's a day you'll come back to me.
But still I have to say,
I would do it all again.

Savage Garden / I Don't Know You Anymore
I don't know what she really wants, and what she expects from me. She doesn't tell me anything, and what she does, gives me the feeling that she has changed.

Because I don't know you anymore,
I don't recognize this place.
The picture frames have changed,
And so has your name.
We don't talk much anymore,
We keep running from the pain,
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again.

Kelly Clarkson / Beautiful Disaster
After a long wait, will there be a beautiful ending or is everything just a disaster? I won't want to give up now that I have come halfway already.

And if I could hold on,
Through the tears and the laughter.
Oh would it be beautiful,
Or just a beautiful disaster?

I see no books in school!

2005-08-08T19:31:00.000+08:00

Our school is celebrating National Day today as tomorrow, which is the actual date and of course, a holiday. There were stalls set-up around the canteen and roads by different classes, and ours were selling Rojak.

I only bought food there, and had an absolutely heavy breakfast. I lost sight of "...", so I went up to class and rest.

Puppy Love

2005-08-07T18:17:00.000+08:00

Had a long chat on MSN with friends today and sub-conciously, a topic struck my mind. Is puppy love that complicated?

In earlier teenage years, one would fall in love and secretly admire that certain person. As time passes by, if the feeling doesn't go away, the desire grows stronger and stronger... so should confession be heard?

I don't know much about others by myself, having the same feeling for 18 months now already but I still can't give her up. Is it because I just want the feeling of love or is it something else?

To me, love might actually be the root of all emotions. They lead to jealousy, enviousness, regretfulness and many feelings, including love's eternal enemy... hate.

I love you,
I hate you,
I can't live without you.

- Saliva/Always

Leaving and left

2005-08-06T23:43:00.000+08:00

Saturday is not a school day but I went into the school today, such a disappointing feeling.

Disappointing only because I have to enter the school, but there's a sense of happiness as I am able to do something I can't normally during weekends (Can you guess it?).

I went straight into the music room and there my actors/friends were, rehearsing. My mood when higher and higher in that small room, yeah... cool, I feel hot.

The rehearsal part was classical, and many laughter here and there. It was noon and lunch reached us. We went on the bus at 1pm+ and gosh, the bus was freakin' tiny. We squeezed in and boom, on our way to the museum.

Later when we went up to the auditorium, but soon got out of the room because a history researched wanted to have an interview with me. I talked alot and later when I returned to the auditorium, my throat was thirst.

When the performances were finally over and when we got on the bus, I immediately listened to a song, which suits my feeling so well.
Here's how the chorus goes...

Since she left me,
She told me,
Don't worry.
You'll be ok you don't need me,
Believe me you'll be fine.
Then i knew what she meant,
And it's not what she said,
Now i can't believe that she's gone.

That would be covering my feelings all day, and *sigh*, period.

Good morning, doc!

2005-08-05T18:12:00.000+08:00

30 minutes after I got off my bed, I went straight to the doctor.

... What for?
I got a fingernail in my left eye, stuck on my eyeball. Pure accident, not knowing why it flew right in!

... Where did that small irritating nail went?
I waited 20 minutes in the clmic, as the nurse told me the cost would skyrocket if I see the doc before 7.20am. I waited impatiently, then the doc came and a checkup. He gave me a eye drop, a MC (to skip school) and later went going home, I felt better and soon, I saw a small piece of fingernail in my hands. Yeah! It has dropped!

... Playing while others are studying
Despite having my eye irritated, I am constant staring at my television and PC, watching discs and playing games. I also add some content to my class website and some polishing on the CSS part.

... To school!
I went to school when the school ended, suprising?
Actually, I went to take a look at the drama rehearsal and everything was chaotic. Nothing more there...

... And back home
My eyes were on my computer again, feels so great.

... Regrets for not going to school?
A little in the morning, when my eyes couldn't see what I'd love to see, but slowly it's better when something else happened.

My screensaver rocks

2005-08-02T16:38:00.000+08:00

I used Photoshop to enhance some pictures for my screensaver slideshow, and I really love them. The pictures are actually photos, except that I blur focus on certain part so whenever I turn my monitor on from my away time, I will feel great.

I gotta change my settings if somebody comes to my PC... *laughs*

Headache delivery from my PC

2005-08-01T19:08:00.000+08:00

It's a pain in the neck when it comes to coding sites...

Phew, spent an hour designing my class website on Photoshop and another hour coding the design only! I am not using tables... I'm anti-tables nowdays, thus using CSS to slowly~ code it.

It's so enjoyable designing, yet coding delivers a terrible headache, and maybe that's why I have many PSD files in my documents.

... Speaking of my documents
I was wondering if there's any software which can help me sort out things in my documents, since I always save my file in wrong locations because I'm lazy to find the correct folder and save (since I'm always in a rush).

I cleaned up my documents months ago, sorting files and renaming them but I guess, I have to do it all over again!

Here's a SS for those who wanna see my documents :
http://img296.imageshack.us/my.php?image=messydocuments9hf.jpg

There's always someone who makes your day better

2005-08-01T15:59:00.000+08:00

Hell, I have to see my form teacher for 4 periods today... gross!

... School & Classes
That was what is basically felt today morning, on the way to school.
Soon after the flag-raising ceremony, we almost opened a bottle of champagne (if we had one) due to the fact that our form teacher is absent today! 3 cheers for sweet absence!

... Activities
I retook my 2.4km run, failed by 2 seconds... but improved by a minute. Can't believe the fact that I have to retake the test next monday again.

... Love
Still doubting and doubted, unsure but curious.
Really tired of playing this "hide-and-seek" feeling games, But it seems that the quit option is disabled.

... Plans
I am planning things for the near future, like participating in another script-writing competition.

And as for my one-sided love affair, well, * dilemma *.

And it all ends with a 3rd place

2005-07-29T20:20:00.000+08:00

I have been writing about my drama competition recently and after 4 months, it finally ended today. Everybody was in high spirits and anticipation in the morning, when we had our rehearsals in school. All went out fine and by around 1, we reached the auditorium of MOE Building.

We waited until 3pm, where the whole thing finally started. The event sparked off with Dunman High's play, followed by Yishun's and then Hwa Choong Institution. The next one was ours, and we all went to the backstage during Hwa Choong's play. Everybody's heart raced, including me in the backstage.

I am really really impressed and feel indebted to the actors on stage, they put on a real good show which not even I have seen before. In my eyes, they are the best actors I ever could find.

When all 5 plays are over, there was a 20 minutes break where everybody went outside for a buffet. 15 minutes, I went to backstage... ready to collect my prize.

The comments the judge gave our team was really unexpected and high-praising, commenting that if some kind of TV drama company were to watch this play, they would definitely give a thumbs up for it (or something smiliar, i cant really remember).

I was very nervous, holding the wooden table tight and had my eyes closed. When my school name was annouced as the 3rd (2nd runner up), I felt relieved and walked to the stage to recieve the plate (and the letter).

The joy, honour and satisfaction were shared, between my group and my school, even though we didn't manage to get 1st. It's a great achievement in my eyes, for that my actos put in their best and that to me, is more than enough.

If any of the actors in my group is reading this, I would like to thank you sincerely one more time. Without all of you, i think the sense of satisfaction and achievement would not be possible...

Attempting MapleStory

2005-07-25T22:13:00.000+08:00

It was a long day in school, involving a 2.4km run and classical teacher nags.

I played MapleStory not long after I got home, and somehow found it "childish" when I first play it but slowly, I was addicted! There's a kid in me, still even though I have grown up a little.

It reminds me of worms, the game produced by Team17 interface of how the characters move. I am unable to play the Global version as I live in Singapore, so I had to play MapleSEA.

I think I played for more than 4 long hours, but it was enjoyable nevertheless.

Photos Took On July 22nd

2005-07-24T15:34:00.000+08:00

My friends acting on MOE auditorium, taken on July 22, 2005.

Over in the waiting room, hearing to teacher's talk, taken on July 22, 2005.

Paint Singapore 2005

2005-07-24T15:24:00.000+08:00

A beautiful sunday started out with me waking up so early (for my normal weekend schedules) and taking a cab to TJ Community Centre. I don't know where it is located so I set off 40 minutes before the time I had to reach.

... Pre-painting
The first dude I saw there was Ed, not long after I got off from the cab. Later came a few classmates of mine, and Chansey came. He brought his brand new PSP but forgot about his handphone TOTALLY! Ed. played around with his PSP (FIFA 2005) and had fun with it.

... Here we go!
I didn't have much mood in painting the merlion scrupture so I just stroke my brush here and there and when I finished mine, there's 1.5 hours more before time is up. I ate hell lot of biscuits there, seriously. Another funny and hilarious thing which happened was, ZK took a photo of a girl's slighty revealed butt * -_-" *.

... After and then
After sitting around for 1.5 hours, we finally had something else to do. We assembled to the front and watched teh award ceremony. There wasn't much except me and Ed. were discussing 'bout the girls who went up the stage looks good or not (we're bored, okay?). Immediately when the whole thign ended, lunch came to our mind. Me, Ed, Cazua and Darren is gonna cross a "matters of life and death" bridge.

... Thus my morning ended with a long walk
Before I'd cross the bridge, this came to my mind.

damn i hope she notice me
hopefully she go for me

Those guys who were there with me should know why, uh huh.
After lunch, Me, Cazua and Ed took a long walk and spoke nonsense along the way. That's the end of this long life entry, and there's a sense of tiredness within' me.

The first time I went into MOE building

2005-07-22T19:11:00.000+08:00

MOE Building? That's the headquarter of Singapore Education (Ministry of Education) and today's the first time I ever went into the building! The security is tight there, and ICs have to be presented (and checked) before you can enter!

We (me and my drama group) went there for rehearsal of drama competition, and the auditorium looks totally different from the one in Singapore History Museum. The dudes over at control room were "cold", and my technical in-charges were not allowed to touch the system!

On-stage, everything went fine except for one part, where my actors/friends starting to laugh and re-taked that scene thrice! We wasted enough time and did not have time for the last scene as another team had arrived for their rehearsal.

Music Messing Experience

2005-07-21T22:44:00.000+08:00

It's a headache when it comes to messing .wav files, having to edit and mix audio files. Had to do this for my drama performance, so the sound dude will have a easier time.

After messing with music for an hour, I can finally take a rest by listening to songs and soon, a sleep.

To the Singapore Polytechnic and back

2005-07-21T19:31:00.000+08:00

This afternoon, I took a sight-seeing trip to Singapore Poly at Dover, and there was chaos everywhere. The chaos is caused by the secondary school students, not those polytech students...

... In the auditorium
We were briefed about the subjects we are able to take in Poly, and one guy mentioned VIA (Value, Interest and Ability) if we want to consider what subjects we want to take. After listening so much, I am still in a dilemma on what subjects I want to take because I don't have any far-reaching dreams! I can say my interest would be designing, acting and poetry but I don't think those would be good for my career. And I don't know my ability (maybe I don't even have one).

... And a treasure hunt begins
A treasure hunt was organised and my group (consiting of Auggie, Darren, Edward, Ze Yi, Hong Yong, Shawn, Haziq and me) split into 2 sub-groups and mine was running around like crazy. We came across a bridge connected 2 buildings and I was shivering... yes, shovering and there's no way I can look down. (I have heights)

After sweating so much, we reached our destination to find out many groups were already there, and my another sub-group was not there yet! We got fed-up and bought ourselve some shrooms burger at KFC.

... Damn! Where's the bus?
We were waiting at the carpark for 30 minutes and our bus still didn't come. In that 30 minutes, everybody was taking photos (and avoiding) with their camera-phones. When the bus reached, a small groups of guys (including me) were doing some insane photo shots at the back, yeah.

Maybe I would upload some when I connect my phone to my PC, and post them soon.

Today passes like yesterday

2005-07-15T15:36:00.000+08:00

Unable to speak normally kills me, and all credits goes to my sore throat *applause*. Very quiet voice from me for about 7 hours (7am - 2pm), and extremely bad mood for some untold and undiscovered reasons.

The drama pratice followed from 2.30pm, and one main character was missing (she's actign the character, Jing in my play) but it didn't affect our overall performance. Many were late for the rehearsal, but for good reasons (exceptional for one guy who actually went all the way to Jurong Point to get a book on Psychology).

My voice somehow regain during the rehearsal but coughing catches up later, how sad.
I can't believe time passes so fast, as if everyday was just an hour.